While I was biking home this lunch, I found myself thinking about bugs, probably because of an experience I had this morning when a cockroach flew at me and then disappeared. Perhaps his wings were moving faster than my brain (I had only gotten up because my bladder had pulled me out of bed and toward the bathroom) but it looked like he disappeared. So I was thinking, "What is worse than a cockroach?" And then I got to thinking that a cockroach isn't so bad. Most of the time it's trying to run away from you and to find a dark corner to grow bigger in.
So I began thinking what the worst possible bug would be. I'm still not done, but you can join me, too. So far I was thinking a tic-roach would be pretty bad. You know, you would be walking through tall grass, and all of sudden you notice that a roach is on your leg sucking your blood! Instead of shunning light, for example, the roach's one purpose in life would be to attach itself to your skin and suck your blood. Just think of waking up in the morning with a couple of those guys hooked to your ear.
But what a triple cross? For example a grasshopper tic-roach, something that would attack you in the broad daylight from across a parking lot. Something that made a loud crackling sound as it gleefully arced across the sky to bounce off your chest. However, so far my most sublime conception is that of a butterfly tic-roach, an example that might appear queer at first but upon investigation will show that an addition of a good part makes the whole thing much more worse. For instance, a butterfly has a chaotic pattern to it when it flies that would only heighten the horror of seeing one of these things in a lonely wooded grove headed right toward you. I also feel that the combination of horror and beauty (the wings I imagine to still be a butterfly's wings) would make the whole thing much more intolerable, like ice cream mixed with rum raisins.
In any case, it's for you to ponder, and to leave a comment if you think of something better. Just keep in mind the thought of dozing off under the cool shade of a tree on a summer day, waking up to the draft of gently pumping wings, a crowd of alighted flowers now sucking at your face.
So I began thinking what the worst possible bug would be. I'm still not done, but you can join me, too. So far I was thinking a tic-roach would be pretty bad. You know, you would be walking through tall grass, and all of sudden you notice that a roach is on your leg sucking your blood! Instead of shunning light, for example, the roach's one purpose in life would be to attach itself to your skin and suck your blood. Just think of waking up in the morning with a couple of those guys hooked to your ear.
But what a triple cross? For example a grasshopper tic-roach, something that would attack you in the broad daylight from across a parking lot. Something that made a loud crackling sound as it gleefully arced across the sky to bounce off your chest. However, so far my most sublime conception is that of a butterfly tic-roach, an example that might appear queer at first but upon investigation will show that an addition of a good part makes the whole thing much more worse. For instance, a butterfly has a chaotic pattern to it when it flies that would only heighten the horror of seeing one of these things in a lonely wooded grove headed right toward you. I also feel that the combination of horror and beauty (the wings I imagine to still be a butterfly's wings) would make the whole thing much more intolerable, like ice cream mixed with rum raisins.
In any case, it's for you to ponder, and to leave a comment if you think of something better. Just keep in mind the thought of dozing off under the cool shade of a tree on a summer day, waking up to the draft of gently pumping wings, a crowd of alighted flowers now sucking at your face.
